Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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