Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
