If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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