Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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