If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
