Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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