it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize