i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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