Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize