i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
