My Higher Power is John Stamos
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize