I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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