It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
