i don't like sucking hair
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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