He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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