Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
