Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
now i know why i became what i already was.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
