I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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