Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
