there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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