official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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