We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
