who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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