Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
