If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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