so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
