My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
