Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
