We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i out mim tonsoeep
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
