The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
