At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
