He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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