You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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