took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
