I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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