Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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