its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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