he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
