I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish they made helmets for livers.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
