I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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