I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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