I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so let's talk penis.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
