On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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