i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
you made out with another girl for some wings
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
