Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
