I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
