Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
