Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
