Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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