of course. lets lasso hookers.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
