Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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