the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
