I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
