I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
