This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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