Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
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Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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