Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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