she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
