singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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