called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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