No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
